Tension between a buyer and seller is inevitable. A buyer wants the most house for his money; a seller wants the most money for his house.

If you've employed an agent to represent only you, rely on this professional to direct events toward a satisfactory conclusion. If you are selling on your own, consider hiring an attorney or agent (acting as a real estate consultant) to help with negotiations; alternatively, brush up on basic aspects of the art when you hang out the "for sale" sign.

Review the planning center developed for buyers. That will give you a sense of how an informed, well-prepared buyer might go about selecting a home, making an offer and negotiating the best deal.

• All negotiating should be done in writing, not orally.

• Be careful not to react to trial balloons the buyer sends up hoping to discover your bottom-line price and other terms.

• Don't feel you must commit to the first offer presented, particularly when it's below your expectations.

• Do remain confident. You've priced your home properly and it's competitive with other houses on the market, so hang tight.

• On the other hand, don't disregard a good offer just because it's the first or second one you receive. Early contracts on a well-priced house are usually submitted by the most serious, well-qualified buyers -- people who know their own needs and resources and who have studied the market carefully. A reasonable offer from such a prospect is worth serious consideration and probably a counteroffer from you.

• Don't be overly impressed by a large earnest-money deposit -- it doesn't automatically cement a contract. Most offers contain language that makes it likely such deposits will ultimately be returned to their offerers if a deal doesn't go through.

• Do look for other signs -- contractual and psychological -- as evidence of a buyer's serious intentions.

• Do examine each contingency. Beware of the contract that binds only you. Getting a seller to accept an offer that nails down the price and terms but leaves the buyer free to escape through any number of clauses is a perennially favorite buyer strategy.

Once a contract offer passes your preliminary review and becomes a candidate for acceptance, it should be reviewed by your attorney or be made contingent on that review.